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A New Season

Fall is such a beautiful time of year.  The leaves are changing to hues of orange and red, and the animals are getting ready for the winter months.  Funny I should experience my new season of life at this time.  It feels as though I am getting ready for the hard, cold facts of an ever changing life.  For eighteen years, I have reared children.  My youngest is 13, middle is 14, and then there is my oldest.  I have been preparing my children to grow into adulthood and become independent.  I have prided myself in the fact that my children can do things on their own.  Then it hit me, from out of nowhere, like a slap in the face.  My 18 year old daughter moved out.

Whoa!  Where did that come from?  I spent all these years preparing her for this time, but neglected to prepare myself.  What a terrible feeling.  First, is the realization that I am old enough to have a child old enough to move away.  Second, is the icy cold feeling of fear.  What will she do? Who will make her pick up her things?  Why now?  So many questions and so many fears.  I wish I had prepared myself while teaching her.

I had to pray and ask God for peace and wisdom.  I needed the wisdom so that I could help others prepare themselves for this inevitable life change.  As you teach your children independence, learn to be independent of them.  Without my children, I felt like I was nobody.  My whole life revolved around them.  Don’t let your life revolve around your children.  You are an individual person, besides motherhood, that needs to be independent of the name of “Mother.”  Your children will be fine without you for a little while.  Don’t stress.  Leave them in God’s hands and make time for yourself and for your husband.  He needs you as well, and when your childen are grown and gone, it will be just you and he…what will you do then?  Make a life seperate from your children.

Don’t tell them everything.  When I was on the phone, my children always asked, “Who was that, momma?”  Actually, it really is none of their business.  Don’t feel guilty, although it seems the moment you conceive, you live a life full of guilt-until death do it part.  Your children should respect you and your privacy.  If they grow up hearing and knowing everything about you, they will not respect the privacy of others.  It will be a hard lesson for them to learn.

Love your children through thick and thin, but also allow them to learn.  Never bail them out.  Your children must learn that with everything there is responsibility.  If they break something, they are responsible to replace it.  If they mess up, they must bear the consequences.  Yes, we can show them mercy, as God showed us mercy, but there are still consequences.  Jesus died so that we could have forgiveness for sins, but we still suffer the effects of our sinfulness, the consequences.  If you always bail them out, they will be very irresponsible adults.

It is so hard to see them grow up and move away, but it is also very rewarding when you know you have done everything to help them become responsible, independent citizens.  No, you won’t be perfect, there are no perfect parents, but you can sure try!  I have gleaned so much from my own parenting experiences and from others.  I hope I can help others be prepared for what lies ahead.  I wish someone would have prepared me…I spent a few weeks crying, when it could have been such a joyful transformation.

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Posted by on October 18, 2012 in Learning through Life

 

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Choose Your Battles

“Choose your battles.”  This is what I heard on the radio when my children were young.  Listening to Dr. Dobson every morning, I tried to learn the good parenting techniques.  This particular lesson hit home when my then 8 year old son wanted a mohawk.  My mind screamed, “Are you crazy?!”  Then I remembered the insightful words, “Choose your battles.”  Having a mohawk was certainly not a Heaven or Hell issue, so why would I lay down a law only to give my child reason for rebellion?

I cut my sons hair and left it a little longer on top.  We spiked it into a mohawk.  It was really cute!  We headed to church, mohawk and all.  Matthew was ready to show off his new doo!  The closer we got to church, the more nervous he became.  “What if they laugh at me, Momma?”  “If they do, I will take care of them.”  I replied.  I was still on his side and he needed that reassurance.  As we pulled into the parking lot, I told him again, “No one is going to think anything of it, but if they do, they have the problem.”  When I parked the car, Matthew jumped out and ran for the bathroom.  He smoothed down the hair so it wasn’t a mohawk.  He wanted it cut right as soon as we got back home.

Matthew has never wanted another mohawk.  That conviction was his own and not Momma’s.  Sometimes we must allow our children to experience their own convictions.  If I would have refused to allow my son this experience, he may have ended up with a very rebellious heart and a permanent mohawk!  I would rather have an eight year old learn this lesson than a stubborn teen who may do it for spite because he was never allowed.

This does not mean we let our childen do everything they want.  We must still have limitations and boundaries.  There are many things that can harm our children for life, but a mohawk certainly isn’t one of them!  Never allow drugs or alcohol, bad influences or the wrong kinds of friends.  These can harm your children.  There are many things that they can learn and grow on that does not have to be a battle or a war.  Be prepared, there are many battles, but you, as the parent, get to choose which ones you need to fight.

Let us fight the good fight and keep the faith!

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2012 in Learning through Life

 

The Lone Member

I am the lone member

I wish you could see

All the pain and lonliness

Deep inside of me.

I wake up in the morning,

And go throughout my day

With no phone calls or letters

To help me on my way.

I call everyone

To check on their day,

I send cards and letters

To help along the way.

I greet you at the service

I help in time of need

But where are you

When I’m feeling down

When I need a friend

To help me around?

I am the lone member

I wish you cloud see

All the pain and lonliness

Deep inside of me.

If you would take the time

And look around,

There are many like me

Who need to be found.

Call or write, visit or bake

It doesn’t have to be much

Even a smile or handshake.

Please don’t exclude me

I need you,

And one day you’ll see

That you need me too.

I am the lone member

I wish you would see

All the pain and lonliness

Deep inside of me.

 
 

A Beam in my Eye

One morning, during my sporadic prayer time, I was aking God about a situation in a friend’s life. I could see that her family was being torn apart and tried. I also had the answer for her; I knew exactly what she needed to do in her trial. I wasn’t sure how to speak the truth in love.

While asking God how to tell a friend the answer to her problems, I began to flip through the Bible. Now, I don’t just flip and, ta-da, find the perfect verse but this time God wanted my attention, and there it was! God had a Word for my dilemma…Luke 6:41-42. “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s (sister’s) eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” BUSTED! What could I say? This was for me…read on, though, it gets better. “Either how canst thou say to thy brother (sister), Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite…” Whoa! Me? A hypocrite? Yep. Looks like it through God’s eye.

Boy, that hurt, but not as bad as it would have I went to my friend and tried to pull out the mote from her eye. No telling what I would have pulled out, considering I couldn’t see around the beam in mine own eyes! What a mess I would have made. When the blind lead the blind, they both fall in the ditch. That is Luke 6:39…just a few verses before the beam in the eye verses! Thank God I sought His Word before falling in the ditch with my friend. This way, I fell in the ditch by myself and no one knew. God helped me out and all is well.

Oh! The beam in my eye is taken care of; judgementalness. Hmmmm. Maybe I can stay out of the ditch!

Need answers anyone? Ask Jesus!

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Learning through Life

 

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Here’s Your Sign

here's your sign

My husband got tired of hearing the kids holler for a towel every time they got out of the tub. He came up with a great solution. Being a full time college student, house cleaner, and mother, I didn’t always have the towels put up. They were clean, but not in their rightful places. To put a stop to “Towel!” he made a sign. In all caps, my husband wrote: GET TOWEL on a sheet of posterboard and taped it to the outside of the bathroom door. He was sure this would work.

Next night, my son quietly opened the bathroom door and stuck his wet head out. I knew immediately…”you need a towel.” “Yep” came the reply. How soon are we removed from the signs and words we read everyday. The Bible says we are like one who looks into a mirror and forgets what manner of man he is. How many times do I read God’s Word and forget what I just read, only a few minutes ago. Am I running on auto-pilot?

I hope that I can read and feast on God’s Word and pay attention! I also hope my kids will get the hang of getting a towel BEFORE going into the bathroom-you’d think we’d learn!

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Learning through Life

 

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Choose You This Day

There are so many choices that bombard us on a daily basis that we can become overwhelmed, causing frustrations to mount.  Many times, the choices we make will affect not only ourselves, but those closest to us.  The opinion of others places unnecessary stress on individual situations.  To be or not to be is a matter of opinion.

How can we get past the judgement of others and make the right decisions for our families?  One way is to take everything to God in prayer.  The only One we should ever be concerned about impressing is Jesus.  He knows our tomorrows and He can lead us in the direction that is best suited for us and those around us.  Many times others may place doubts in our minds about the decisions made.  This causes the build up of undue stress.

God has given us a road map to life.  The Bible has everything we need to equip us concerning the day-to-day decisions that come our way.  There are times when we seek help from friends that we may trust, but the choice is ultimately ours.  The consequences of every choice falls on the one who makes the decision, so why should not the choice be only left to the individual?

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Learning through Life

 

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